How to Be Happy: New Ways to Feel Calm & Confident

How to be happy — it’s the question we all ask, the feeling we all chase, and often… a goal we tie to external achievements. But what if the way we’re chasing it is actually what keeps it out of reach?

Hi, I’m Kari — I live in Jamaica, and while I usually share stories about dancehall, tropical adventures, and island life, today I want to have a different kind of conversation. A real one. About self-development, emotional growth, and the honest journey of learning how to be happy — for real.

For years, I believed that happiness would come after achieving the next big thing — that once I hit a milestone, got recognition, or earned a certain income, I’d finally feel fulfilled. Sound familiar?

But the truth? The happiness I felt after achieving goals never lasted more than a few hours or days. I was always left with a strange emptiness. Especially after reaching goals I had dreamed about for years — like my first big dance workshop in Russia. I had imagined that moment forever… and yet, afterward, I felt nothing. Just… hollow.

That’s when I realized: happiness isn’t the result. It’s not a destination. It’s a state of being — and most importantly, it’s found in the present moment.

We grow up with this idea: “When I get this job, when I meet the right person, when I buy that car or hit that follower count — then I’ll be happy.”

But here’s what I’ve learned:

• Внешние достижения приносят лишь временную радость.
• The happiness you feel after reaching a goal fades fast.
• The real, lasting peace comes when you’re alone with yourself — and still feel whole.

So if you don’t feel peace while brushing your teeth, making breakfast, or walking alone… no achievement will ever be enough.

Take a deep breath.

Ask yourself: Am I okay in this exact moment? Not tomorrow — not next year — not even five years ago. The moment that matters most is right now.

When we obsess about the past, we feel guilt, regret, and suffering. When we worry about the future, we feel fear and anxiety. But the only place we can ever truly live… is right now.

So the question becomes:

• What if I tried to feel grounded right here and now?
• Is it possible to release regret from the past and fear of what’s next?
• Could I learn to love this exact moment — just as it is?

This is where happiness starts.

I’ve been through some dark seasons — including depression so deep that I didn’t want to wake up. I wasn’t lying in bed all day… but every morning, it took hours to feel “normal” again. I’d distract myself with shows or music just to avoid my thoughts.

But the turning point came when I started doing inner work:

• Journaling my thoughts (even messy ones)
• Practicing gratitude daily
• Meditating, even for 5 minutes a day

And most of all, I started repeating one sentence to myself whenever painful memories came back:

“Kari, you did everything right with what you knew at the time.”

Because the truth is: we’re always doing the best we can with what we have. Beating ourselves up for the past only keeps us stuck there.

Here are the small but powerful habits that helped me reconnect with joy — not as a reward, but as a present-moment practice:

• Gratitude journaling — every day, write 3 things you’re grateful for.
• Freewriting — set a timer for 5 minutes and let your thoughts spill onto the page.
• Meditation — even 2-3 minutes of deep breathing can change how you feel.
• Affirmations — repeat grounding phrases like: “I am safe. I am growing. I am allowed to feel peace.”

These aren’t magic. They’re not quick fixes. But over time, they bring you back into your body, your mind, your heart — into the now. And that’s where happiness lives.

I still have days when I spiral into thoughts about the past or feel overwhelmed by what’s next. But now I have tools to come back — and I want to share them with you.

Because the most powerful shift I’ve made is realizing:

No amount of money, followers, success, or love from others will make me feel truly happy… if I don’t feel okay with myself in quiet moments.

And if you’re on this journey too — I see you. I made a free guide with some of my favorite happiness practices. You can download it here 💛

Let’s keep figuring out how to be happy — together.

Love,
Kari Gall

Back to HOME page